Celebrating 15 Years of Sobriety!

After a life filled with abuse, addiction and homelessness, 38-year-old Jay Kivell is celebrating his 15th year of sobriety by getting the biggest promotion of his life.

Raised by a single, alcoholic mother, Kivell grew up in a home where he was either physically abused or neglected entirely. “When I was growing up she made it very clear that she wished I was never born,” he said. “She had no issue with leaving me at home for a week by myself when I was eight years old.”

When he wasn’t being left to fend for himself, he was being babysat by the daughter of a family friend. “This woman would sexually abuse me quite often. She was 18 at the time. I was six and it went on until I was about 12.”

Kivell said that he never told anyone what was happening to him. “I didn’t want to get anybody in trouble. I didn’t want to get in trouble myself. At that age, I figured I would be the one in trouble just for being a part of it.”

He started smoking cigarettes by age 12. By 14, he was smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol. And by the time he was in his 20s, he was homeless and smoking crack.

At the age of 27 while living in Jasper, Alberta, Kivell finally hit rock bottom and tried to commit suicide. “In one 12 hour period, I got into a fight with my boss, thrown into a drunk tank, evicted from my apartment, fired from my job and dumped by my girlfriend. I realized then that my addiction was controlling my entire life.”

Jay woke up in a hospital bed and decided that he wanted to change his life. After talking with the hospital counsellor, he was told to go to Vancouver and try The Salvation Army’s Harbour Light Treatment Program. Kivell said that he had never been to Vancouver before so he thought he might as well give it a try.

It would be his seventh time in treatment, and also his last. Kivell said he weighed 117 lbs. when he got off the bus and checked into treatment. “They saved my life,” he said of the staff at Harbour Light. “Despite my deep dark secrets they opened up their arms and welcomed me. They didn’t judge me.”

Kivell said he never relapsed after Harbour Light because he was finally ready to be honest and talk about the hurt he had experienced in childhood. “I finally let those secrets out. I took that risk and when I let it all out, I felt relief. It was like the weight was taken off my shoulders. I haven’t looked back since.”

While he was in treatment, Kivell began volunteering every night in the Shelter. Once he had completed his year-long program, he was hired on by Harbour Light as a Shelter worker. “It was the knowledge that you have the opportunity to change someone’s life that drew me into Shelter work,” he said.

Jay has just been promoted to the position of Shelter Coordinator, where he helps to oversee the staff and operations of the Harbour Light Shelters. “It’s so new to me. My whole life I’ve always been told what to do. Now I’m in a position where I am the one mentoring people,” he said.

Kivell now has a wife and two young sons, ages seven and nine, who he said are a constant blessing in his life. “They are the best things that have ever happened to me. I do everything that I can to make sure that they don’t have to go without,” he said.

“I’m thankful for the opportunity to give my kids what I never got growing up; unconditional love.”